LAUNCHED : 1ST JAN 2008

USA.

2009-06-03T21:22:00.002+08:00

i realised time really really really flies!

it has been a year and half since i set up this blog and i rarely update it but i cant believe im ageing so fast!!

some issues havent changed but i think im a changed person in ways more than one. Having seen more of the world and having to settle things myself, I think I am stronger than I thought. I realise it is only at the point where you have no hope do you finally let go of things that seem to be entrenched in your life.

On a side note, I hope to go back to US soon!

STAMP YOUR FEET

2008-07-07T03:05:00.003+08:00

okok :X it's a nicee song.

ahh i need to wake up from my whatever-state-it-is-called and really give my feet a good stamping on the ground.

I need to open my eyes WIDE and start thinking with more with my brain than my heart.

rain comes in every player's life

2008-06-28T20:26:00.002+08:00

讲不出声
谁人无得到一切的渴求
谁人无攻于心计的理由
平凡人生天真过后
要怎么走
如何从委曲中再相信人
谁无狂想不可告人
难忘时光必须散席留下我
快乐时抱着时
那是至死不渝朋友
决裂时你为何以为再拖一会
还有时候
即是多风光都要清醒
有几多掌声也是孤清
你只可听到我大笑声
哭泣也未放声
讲不出声讲不出声
任由自己半夜惊醒
我只不过偶尔受了惊
于是才遗忘本性
谁人能甘心一世一个人
如何才得资格可爱人
诚惶诚恐只得我是明白我

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Meaningful words indeed. The past few weeks have been well, eventful. My special sem was over, and though my result was far from fantastic, i am still thankful that my group mates were a nice bunch. Though my initial impression may not be as such, but after many many project meetings, i must say, they are really a good group to have. I did manage to learn a few lessons from them.

So-called friends never fail to disappoint me and sometimes I really despise them. But well, everything is a learning experience.
For the remaining one month of my hols, i want to enjoy, enjoy and enjoy!

timeless

2008-06-15T14:42:00.002+08:00

You can't leave me
Stay here even if it's hard
If I can see you just a bit more
I'd smile for the amount of love left

Timeless, it isn't separation is it?
If there's one life, it's us now
Hold tight baby, timeless
Stain it on this heart
For it will only hurt like a moment's fever
We both agree
This is timeless love

I'll be leaving with the world
But will sadness also go with me?
You call for me for you are yearning
I will only leave scars on the door to your heart

Will I know after I swallow the tears that I've heaved from inside of me?
Hold my hand so I can't leave

Timeless, it isn't separation is it?
If there's one life, it's us now
Hold tight baby, timeless
Stain it on this heart
For it will only hurt like a moment's fever
We both agree
This is timeless love

Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Baby, it's timeless
Oh baby it's timeless
Timeless, so I can go back
For it will only hurt like a moment's fever
We both agree
This is timeless love
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do i try so hard? Why do my mistakes always come back to haunt me? I should have believed that leopards will never change their spots. People don't deserve 2nd chances because they will eventually come back to bite you anyway. I tried to show that i didn't care, but i still did. Why don't i EVER LEARN? I hate my bloody weaknesses. If i met you people on the streets one day, how i wish i could give both of you two tight slaps each.

what a feeling

2008-05-29T23:40:00.002+08:00

It has been ages since i last blogged.
This month has been a whirlwind. You are right, i just don't ever learn. I am mean to those who treat me well and nice to those who treat me like crap. Such a contradictory. Well, i guess it's never too late to learn. And relearn again. So this weekend, i am really gonna get serious. And that means studying.

Ladies Night

2008-04-30T21:50:00.002+08:00

Exams are finally over, marking the official ending of the 2nd semester. Many things have taken place this semester, but i won't change my mind about some people and that's for sure. Very into Sweetbox's ladies night which is the final stage for audition portable x) tells you what to do with horrible guys.

Good morning class!
Here are ten simple ways
to get rid of a lazy boyfriend

Leave him
Like he leaves the dishes
Stain him
Like he stains his shirts
Ignore him
like he ignores the lawn
Make him watch you while you flirt
Kick him,bite him,slap him,hit him
Tie him up,put him in the trunk
Drug him,bug him,slug him,mug him
Wash your hands throw him out with the junk

(Chorus)
Runaway
Runaway
Runaway now

put your lipstick on
It's ladies night
Kick your manolo blaniks high
It's ladies night

Mind you he will cry and he will beg
Say all the things he never said
But he will never feel much smaller
Till he sees you with someone taller
So watch your diet,read those books!
And don't give him a second look!
And when you're sad go out with the girls
And know tonight you don't have to cook

只要你过得比我好

2008-04-01T00:18:00.002+08:00

It's april again. And it's april's fool. Just feel that so far, the year has been well, fooling me. Kind of. Just now as i visited a blog which i have not visited since last year, the same feelings come back to me. Again i question myself, what did I do to deserve this? I haven't wronged her in any way. Was I too nice? Or simply too foolish? Then again, perhaps it just goes to show how insignificant her presence will be in my life.

Perhaps this year will be a year where i will really learn alot. I will get used to people who disappear without a trace. I will get used to people who just do things in ways i cannot comprehend. At the same time, i still have to thank God for pulling me through all these, healing me much faster than i thought. Made me get over my loss, which i used to have alot of difficulty letting go.

And it will be your birthday again. I will still wish you on your birthday. I will still ponder over the times, but I won't really care about how you are getting on anymore. Because it really shouldn't matter. I will remember your birthday, and you will remember mine, but we will both know it's fake anyway.

todaywasfun!

2008-03-14T20:09:00.003+08:00

hahahah today was fun! Cuz the piepokesfroztebs&sardieoofs had a meeting! =D and we went pastamania to eat niceee pasta! I am seriously addicted to seafood miso man! And i didnt get tummyaches from the clams, THANKFULLY. But the portion at westmall is smaller than harbourfront centre and gives less octopus pieces, so we should go harbourfront centre instead!!! hahaha and man i feellll so short next to the 2 of them! Terence is so tall and so is jazzy!! And i am the shortest AHH! Also, i suck at arcade games, like big time. And terence is the most pro man ><>that often. :(

AHHH, but back to reality and that MEANS WORK. SIGH.

there are so many important things to be done asap:
1) biobiz project
2) hw111 speech
3) hp200 tutorial (??!) and lecture review
4) hp202 research
5) hp203 lecture 8
6) hp202 lecture 8

GAHS. And not mentioning the tw drama eps which i havent watched!!!

No space

2008-03-06T20:41:00.002+08:00

I am always feeling disappointed with people.
Is it because of me? My personality? Or my nature? or that i simply expect TOO much??
Maybe it is me. Because somehow i always end up being disappointed with those who are or were close to me.
Maybe i should learn to see from another light, from their perspective. Maybe i need to be more understanding.
But actually i dont really want to care. I am just too tired to think.

somepeopledeservesmackings

2008-02-28T23:24:00.002+08:00

Haha feel like telling the maid that she can go wash my toiletbowls man -.-
Some tutors ought to be shot.
Fine, i shan't be mean. But i am so irritated we spent so much time and that's all she can say. MAN her life is easy.
Oh sweeels i cant wait for may-aug hols. PLEASE COME.

Btw it was a great proj meeting with the xiao people ^^ xD i love pastamania ok, it is my favourite pasta place now!

那有一天不想你

2008-02-26T23:00:00.002+08:00

I had a really really really horrid dream yesterday and i pray it never happens.
And seriously i need to get things into my head right now.
Should i SU biobiz??

Outing

2008-02-23T01:49:00.004+08:00

haahaha i met up with eme today!! :D
ohh wells! just gotta say it was a great outing and great movie!! x)
Hopefully we will stay as friends always WAHAHAHA.
okok i shall just post 2 pics for fun!! =x dont vomit else i smack you!

Ok i look spastic i know but eme took it and she has GREAT phototaking skills ok unlike me.

sorry emeee x) take those ugly pics of me from your site down!

New Phone!

2008-02-11T17:24:00.000+08:00

Ok yays must update about my new phone:

Samsung G800

it was a long troublesome trip to get it man. First, because the starhub vouchers cant be used in IMM had to go all the way to vivo. And i didnt even go home to change. But well it was a good thing i supposed, cuz everywhere is displaying the silver version but when i went to vivo and had ALOT of time to kill, i took a look at both colours and both mom and i decided that the charcoal grey is much nicer. Silver is cool too, but it reminds me of my lousy digicam which spoilt before its time -.-
And yays! It is wonderful for its camera properties, can't believe i actually spent so much :( but 5mp and 3x optical zoom!

Haha and as i was reading the papers today, they were talking about more updates on the edisonchengillianchung sex scandal. Apparently, there were even photos of his current girlfriend and that he had been in a bleak mood and stopped eating. LOL. Made me want to burst out laughing reading about it. First thing, the female artistes deserved it man. Good for their current fiances and boyfriends. At least they got to see for themselves what kind of people their significant other are. HOHO. Girls should really learn to have more dignity. Back to edison. I guess many guys think that he's some great stud who managed to hook up so many girls but a victim is probably the last thing that suits him. Yes, of course no one should have their private property taken and shown to everyone but blame it on himself to take the hundreds or thousands of pictures in the first place. If you don't want people to know then don't do it. LOL.

That's all for updating! :D

special thanks again!!

2008-02-05T23:46:00.000+08:00

Haha gotta thank some people again:

1) presents
- Eme for your nice glitter puff!
- Wai for your sweet necklace and funny card haha

2) treats
- gotta thank my ntu friends for treating me to sakae buffet! :D haha really appreciate it andreally enjoyed the time there. Never have i stayed for the entire buffet session.
- ronnie for your treat at ichi :) hahaha sorry i was such a big eater and all the best to you and your LG! (mine is samsung:x)

3) late birthday wishes (but better late than never!)
- Joanne
- Ivan

4) clarifications
firstly, i am not angry at terbs. It's just a misconception on my part for not differentiating between audition friends and personal friends. I shouldn't have expected so much from audition friends and treat them like personal friends. ^^ but piepokes is a personal friend MUAHAHAHS.

ok if i am not making sense skip the above.

Happy Birthday To Me

2008-02-02T22:50:00.000+08:00

Firstly i want to thank my parents:
for bringing me to Pariss to eat though it was definitely NOT worth it, the food was not nice, too cold, and made us feel like we were stuffing junk into our stomaches. Parking was a terror too. Still, many thanks.

Secondly, i want to thank the following people, for remembering in one way or another:
1) Emelyn
2) Waisze
3) Couz
4) Sharon
5) Cherie
6) Yongni
7) Jazzy
8) Jie Hong
9) Warren
10) Matthew
11) Leon
12) Carol
13) her

very thankful that you guys remember :)

thirdly..
Some reflections when i was thinking about the past year, from 2.2.07 to 2.2.08
I won't make a mockery of myself anymore, taking many initiatives and getting cold responses or none at all. I won't go an extra mile for these people anymore. From today onwards, they are officially out of my circle of friends.

Irony

2008-01-31T22:06:00.000+08:00

i really want to drop out of school.
so damn tired of all the stuff i have to do.
yes the dumb presentation is over. freaking waste of my time.
BUT i have yet to do so many things and catch up with my work.
And i still need to get some form of recorder to record whatever the guy says. FREAK IT.
after i finish reading that stupid journal reading i must go and think about the work i have to do.

haha so ironic that i wasted so much time in the past on useless things. I desperately want to slack but i cant. T_T

心如刀割

2008-01-27T19:55:00.000+08:00

firstly....

before anyone thinks i am emo i am not!!
the title is just a favourite song of mine xD

secondly....

a HUGGEEE thanks to piepokes for the new layout again! =)

thirdly....

i am so sick of the report man. like really utterly sick of it and i haven't done my speech and powerpoint tho ive gotten the plan written out and found the pictures. And i haven't read my readings just because of this. All for 7%. After this i really want to slack.

fourthly....

i have come to terms with a few things already so i am more at peace with myself.

reflection

2008-01-22T02:07:00.000+08:00

today's combat class was great man.. it totally knocked me out.
Felt so faint and tired after the class and immediately slept when i got home.
I really need such exercises once in a while, and whoever said exercise keeps your mind off things has really proven to be right. My mind was clearer after the workout.

On a side note, I really cannot stand the HW111 book anymore!!
It's so so so boringggg and the lecture notes aren't helping. Goodness if not for the 15% quiz in the don't-know-which-week I DEFINITELY wouldn't read it.

Now that it's late at night, i thought about my jc days. I realized things were much better in j1 than in j2. I didn't take things seriously in j2. Off went the edusave bursary and my grades. Yiz asked me before what is it that i really seriously hated about the jc. Now that I think back, I guess it was the distance (for sure), the class (definitely), my attitude (to hate it from the start) and the influences (which I never thought about till now).

Many a times, your attitude and the people you hang out with can influence how you view the environment. So despite the fact that I hate to do alot of work, I must say that I still prefer uni in terms of the class schedules and the people around me.

for her.

2008-01-20T13:11:00.000+08:00

I reorganized my thoughts yesterday and saw things alot better after talking to eme.

I hope she (this friend the entry is for) sees this.

First, what business is it of hers with what i do with my yahoo auctions account? I don't go is around looking or checking other's accounts unless they sold something that belonged to me. So whether that account is mine, whether i opened it or someone helped me to open it and what I buy and sell is none of anyone's business except my own.

Secondly, to think she was so nonchalant and gave me reasons like "i don't sms anyone nowadays". Yet you can still go out. So this shows that you still utilise your phone. Whether you contact other people is not the same issue as mine because i bothered to give you many missed calls and messages. It is basic courtesy to at least reply and if you had and told me anything that is similar to wanting to be alone i would have understood. And it is not the first time you became uncontactable.

Yet you didn't and instead told me that you were out or something and so didn't hear the phone? i clearly remember i called at past midnight. Even so it should be evident that i left some missed calls didn't I? So to think I got worried to think because i cared and all you can say is you weren't around the phone.

LOL. so years of being friends, after putting in effort into this it turned out this way. What best friends. I won't suscribe to such mentality anymore. There will only be close friends from now on, I won't treat someone of higher priority or closer than anyone else. I rather have a few close friends than one BEST friend who turned out this way.

And lastly, since you don't even care if i am angry or not, as eme puts it, you make your own bed and you lie on it. Whether in future you lead a very enviable life or not is no longer any interest of mine.

screwed up net! and screwed up me!

2008-01-20T01:02:00.000+08:00

i am in a better mood now! :)
talked to sandra today and i guess alot of what she said does make sense.
Sometimes i just refuse to change and can be very stubborn in my ways >< but nevermind i will make an effort to change!! haha i realized audition has quite a few new modes yays! but super laggy and i kept getting disconnected gahs.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was seriously so upset just now man. So i finally know the reason she has been like this. And all she bothers to say is she doesn't message anyone nowadays. And that she wants to be alone. And was only concerned about whether the yahoo account she saw was mine. I didn't really get it until i gave it some thought and realized she didn't really want to know if the account was REALLY mine or not, after all it wasn't me who opened the account, but i merely utilised it. I guessed that she was more interested in the purchases i made and i can't help but say this.

Weren't people impressionable once? Past is past.
I have grown out of the phase i was in back then and what makes me upset isn't really the fact that she asked me about my account, but the fact that :

i was still wondering what happened and when she finally does talk instead of telling me what happened, all she was interested in doing was to ask me for something as insignificant as an account when i was actually worried cuz i thought something was bothering her. How could she be so nonchalant and actually say that just because she doesn't message anyone nowadays she didn't reply? She obviously don't care if you are worried for her!

Lol. all those years. Making me feel so foolish right now and i bet mom is gonna say I told you so! So good to your friends for what? Call you to meet then you go!
Maybe i am not really that great a friend but i definitely do try my best to be one and i do really care for my close friends and now all i get is this. Should have seen this coming man. I need to reflect on myself man.

So not worth it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

So emelyn is right, again. I should have stopped yet i persisted. From tomorrow onwards, I am just going to concentrate on that report i have to do, my group project and my presentation.

re-awakening

2008-01-17T00:34:00.000+08:00

after talking to em, i decided not to call the 3 of them.

she's right.

So many many things that we do, that we put effort into, that we spent time on, IT'S NOT WORTH IT. why do you bother when they don't?

haha so fine, i am just gonna live with those excuses. go for your wakeboarding, continue to ignore my calls, continue to ignore my texts.

i don't need that nagging feeling of trying to keep things going or put up my tolerant front, if they appreciate they will make up for it, if they don't then i don't need them i really don't.

and for once, i feel bad. em is right. sometimes, the people you are close to can be nicer than your close friends. but i still suscribe to that belief for only sometimes. i don't feel very close to acquaintances.

don't think i will sound like this again, at least i will try and make sure i don't. And i will have to try to love global warming, biology and the ecological aspects of psy whatever that is.

未来の記憶

2008-01-13T21:53:00.000+08:00

Any planet is keeping twinkle. Never let me forget
Anybody is keeping secrets. Never let me get back
So make it together now. Yuzurenai yume Kanaeta kute
So take it together now. Hitori ja nai yo Give me the holy land

never really understood anime lyrics :) but at least they sound nice.

today i tried to do the accounts homework but i ended up getting stuck and gave up haha. I seriously think i am dead for this sem. And when i was seriously giving it some thought, i realized all my modules have projects!! Some need reports to be handed up every 3 weeks, some are frequent presentations, one is some weirdo speech :(

anyway, when i was flipping the papers today i got a huge shock x.x
I actually flipped past the orbituaries and saw my ex form teacher who taught me in sec 2 ><"
I remember she was pretty strict with us then, but she was really kind to me when i fell sick in sec 2 and even told me that there was no need to give her any mcs cuz i kept giving her haha.
Wonder what happened to her, don't recall seeing her the next year but still, she wasn't like really old or something :(
well hope she rests in peace.

ahaha, and i downloaded the otaku/otuku anime mixes and found claymore's theme song there! the danzai no hana thing. I am sure pie loveees that song!! :D and this is bad ok, the download accelerator is making me download more and more things.
xD

monday please crawwwl by me :/

game rehab.

2008-01-11T02:22:00.000+08:00

i REALLY REALLY have to go for game rehab.
School has already started, and the workload is much heavier than last sem, YET i can't concentrate.
Gahs. And not to mention i spent 1834356 hours on the computer EACH DAY and even began to play beatup mode and beatup battle. ><"
It's not helping that ive tonnns of readings, tonnns of tutorials to do, esp for statistics and accounting. GAHS.

Let me make a list of things to do:

1. read social psy
2. read development psy
3. read STATS, do STATS tutorial, read STATS lecture review and notes
4. READ accounting, DO accounting tutorial, READ accounting for next week

blooodyhell.
maybe i should like chain up my computer or something darn it.

dread.

2008-01-04T01:13:00.000+08:00

GAHS. Ever pie started using this, it has gradually become my favourite sigh word. I really am not looking forward to school to studying to more work and more deadlines. I want my holidays. How I wish I could have my 8 months of holidays all over again.
Went out with Jo today, it was nice catching up and I got to know more gossipy stuff through her haha. Sigh too bad I am not taking any similar modules with her or wai next sem.

Ok, now for the quiz that pie tagged me with!

Instructions.
1.Do the following WITHOUT COMPLAINTS.
lalala
2.Choose 5 people to do this after you completed yours. nah, no need.
3.Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she has been tagged. (ibid)
4.Start your post with, I have been tagged! (ibid)

Favourites.
Favourite Colour : Blue?
Favourite Food : fried chicken wings hahaha!
Favourite Movie : None so far.
Favourite Sport : sleep.
Favourite Day Of The Week : Friday
Favourite Season : Autumn
Favourite IceCream : Cookies and cream

Currents.
Current Mood : depressed
Current Clothes : madhouse tee and normal shorts
Current Desktop : cerato wallpaper
Current Time : 1:22am - should i go to sleep?
Current Thoughts : impending doom of going to school

Firsts.
First Best Friend : waisze LOL.
First Crush : -____-""
First Movie : Jurassic Park?
First Lie : When i fell down and it didn't hurt but it hurt damn badly.
First Music : lullabies!

Lasts.
Last Drink : water
Last Car Ride : to westmall
Last Crush : -__________-"
Last Phone Call : Jo haha!
Last music played : Melanie Chrisholm - I Turn To You

Have You Evers?
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Friend : LOL. no.
Have You Ever Broken The Law : I'm completely innocent.
Have You Ever Been Arrested? : No.
Have You Ever Been On TV? : Noope.
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Don't know? : EEE of course not!

Random.
5 Things You Are Good At : The computer,daydreaming, slacking, rotting, eating XD

4 Things You've Done Today : this quiz, met jo, gamed, msned.

3 Things You Can Hear Right Now : keyboard, mel c's song, the fan's humming

TADA! PIE u better see this!

what the..

2008-01-02T15:05:00.001+08:00

hell.

my other audition account got suspended for account verification purposes. Why can't they just let us have an account and earn their acash without summoning them for verification purposes all the time? Gahs. There goes my dens accumulated after 1 year. -.-

dreading school man. Can it please don't come? I am totally NOT looking forward to speeches, resume writing whatever. I hate public speaking and the class is so huge. If only we could be like NUS, to be able to choose what modules i want. And when that happens, I am definitely not going to choose anything speech related. I bet I will also lose a few kilos after being confined to horrible canteen B food for 1 semester.

LAUNCHED.

2008-01-01T00:04:00.000+08:00

Firstly:
a HUGE THANKS to sn0wiie for the blogskin and adhering to my many many requests :D

2007 has been fruitful.
Let me write down the memorable things that have happened this year:
- changed my name
- worked for the first time in my life! taught and worked at the agency.
- going to 2 countries in a year -> shanghai and taiwan
- getting my driving license
- first time seeing straight A(-)s in my results slip (haven't seen that since PSLE)
- meeting pie and froz HAHAHA never imagined i would meet them
- learning japanese for the first time
- learning tennis! HAHA waisze remember michael?

i still dread going to school, but will try hard not to slack and skip lectures. Though it may seem cliche to say this, but still have to thank God and all the deities for bringing me through 2007 smoothly i must say, despite not doing well for the As.
Also thank the people whom I have been close to, for letting me understand which so-called friends are not worth my time and should be dropped and which friends are those I should keep. :D

wishes for 2008:
- for everyone i know to be healthy
- good grades and smooth-sailing semester
- to go to JAPAN!